People have fallen in love through words for hundreds of years. From poetry used to attract a spouse in the 18th century, love letters sent back and forth between soldiers and their lovers during the world wars, to young people listening to the lyrics of songs enabling them to unravel the new emotions they feel for another.
It is indisputable that some of the feelings that are involved in these relationships are very real. Relationships that are entirely one sided because one of the parties doesn’t exist as a person. Some of these men have been writing to these ‘women’ for months on end, telling them their deepest desires, their secrets, their history. Telling them about every single aspect of their lives from the exciting holidays to the mundane visits to B&Q. At times it is difficult not to be the one that doesn’t just tell them the truth. Tell them that they are not speaking to Sandra or Jane, but instead to maybe hundreds of different women, who, like me are often sat in their kitchens drinking tea and thinking about doing the hoovering before the school run (still haven’t done that). Tell them that I have no feelings for them at all and break their hearts. But I won’t because despite the fact that it feels like I am breaking their hearts a little with every message I send it’s over, two minutes at most and then I may never speak to them again.
Most of the men that have fallen for the ‘lady’ they’re speaking to are older, very rarely under 60. These are men who have innocently believed that the website they have chosen to find love is a genuine place to meet someone. They are the ones who rarely speak of sex, who speak of doing things together, holding hands, joining them on the mundane trips to B&Q. They’re not after the dirty talk, they don’t want to hear that ‘I had a horny dream about you last night’ ‘my pussy is so wet’ ‘I’d love to have your hard cock in my mouth’. They want to take me out for dinner, to a garden centre on Sunday or to the theatre and every single time I tell them that ‘Sandra’ or ‘Jane’ is busy.
I know it hurts them. I can tell from their words.